Local weatherman Randy Savage over the course of the past two years has killed over 2500 rats with his bare hands. Our city did not any hope of return. Mr. Savage made it his mission to kill every single rat in this city and he successfully killed 98% of the population. Tomorrow morning at 8am the mayor will be presenting him the key to the city in honor of his courageous acts. Also the local farmers pooled together and will be giving him 2 dollars for every rat that he killed. Tito’s bar and grille will be presenting the 5000 dollar check and a lifetime of free food at 10am.
"Today is the day that I get to finally relax"